Baby: definitely no baby this month – fertilisation yes, implantation no. Try again! But each renewed effort is more full of worry and doubt taking away the joy. I wonder how Sarah must have felt waiting till she was eighty. No wonder there was that business with Hagar! This is part of the theme of this blog – stepping out of the comfort zone to have a seventh child.
Work: The wheels are now turning and it looks relatively certain that on 1 Nov I will go Freelance. All the relevant application forms are in, and it’s just a matter of negotiating a rate with my first client – i.e. to stay at my current ‘on secondment’ desk – and handing in my notice to my current employer. I don’t think he will be too pleased. On paper I will be very much better off – why did I not do this before? – but there are obviously risks and unforeseen problems. However – this is all part of the theme of this blog – stepping out of the comfort zone of a secure job to on where I will have to rely on God to keep me employed.
Training: I have to do my first reading in the Oxford Movement church tonight – scary, disturbing, part of the theme of this blog is stepping out of the comfort zone to let God take you to places that you really do not expect. PS I found out yesterday that one of the key people there is a freemason. Is this combat testing for me, meeting the enemy, or is it God telling me freemasons (whether individually or as a system) are not as bad as we make them out to be? Questions questions! Pray for me to be open minded without being deceived.
Oxford Movement, good.
ReplyDeleteFreemasons... well, I dunno. :0)
You sound kind of like an evangelical or Pentecostal; have you written any posts on how you're finding yourself in an AngloCatholic setting?
I'm glad you found my previous comments edifying. Please do remember that it's not a sin to be tempted!
If some thought or image comes to you and you dismiss it, that ought not to be a problem. There's no moral culpability in that. If you make friends with it and spend some quality time, then you've done something wrong. I think a broader definition than that requires putting out ones eyes for righteousness' sake...
Anyway, back to my paper; one of my favorite things to do on a rainy friday night...!
Kyle
ReplyDeleteThanks for your recent comment on my blog. It is a great encouragement that you have continued to follow my story, even though you clearly have other things you could be doing. Thank you!
You are right that I would classify myself as Evangelical. I would say Charismatic rather than Pentecostal as it is less denominational.
To be honest, I am struggling at the ‘Oxford Movement’ church. {I don’t want to give its name because I have to keep this blog anonymous for the sake of my family.}
This Sunday I was asked to carry a chalice. I was told off for being in the wrong place in the procession, implying seniority over the licensed readers. I caused comment when I stumbled slightly while carrying the chalice. I got a bit muddled as to who was taking the wine. But these are peripheral issues. My main problem is that it seems to erect so many barriers between God and his people. On your blog you quote "Tradition is the living faith of the dead. Traditionalism is the dead faith of the living." - Jaroslav Pelikan. I feel that your blog reflects the former, while this church is tending towards the latter. I also worry that the object of the faith has been diverted away from our Lord onto the various symbols. I resent having to bow to a man-made wooden altar when I have a living Lord. It feels idolatrous. I resent the altar rail, when the veil in the temple was torn at the crucifixion. I resent the vestments setting apart some members of the church and creating an outward beauty which seems so distant from scriptural exhortations to make inner beauty the priority. I resent the raising of the circular wafer – reminiscent of sun-worshipping paganism. Etc. etc.
Also, although the popularity should never be the test of sound doctrine, why is there only 5 people in the congregation [not including the service team] on Sunday and Wednesday night? If reverence is the focus of the church’s worship, surely the first reverence is to actually turn up?
However, there is some good stuff – the way for the gospel reading the Bible is carried in procession to the centre of the church and the congregation stands to hear it – we need more reverence of the Bible in our church. And if I am OK with this, perhaps I can extend it to other things? But even so, surely reverence of the Bible consists primarily in doing it rather than just parading it around.
I came to this church with a genuine desire to be open minded, and to learn, and to find out for myself rather than relying on prejudices passed down to me from my family background. For this reason I will be having a meeting later with the Sacristan (?) who is keen on all his stuff and will explain its meanings to me. I still feel there is an opportunity for me to get under the skin of this thing and understand where it is coming from. I really don’t want to criticise something that is a true or at least acceptable expression of the faith. I don’t want to criticise anything that is genuinely given by God. Neither do I wish to teach as doctrines of God traditions of men that fly in the face of God’s intention. (Matt 15v9)
I will provide further updates as my placement goes on – there is still time for my views to change.
Regards
Simon
Stick with it brother,
ReplyDeleteI hear you on the points you have mentioned but I think the vestments, bowing, and scraping etc. is about visually presenting our submission to God. The Oxford Movement had a big impact amongst intellectuals and illiterates by conveying the awesome majesty of God in ways people could understand! Perhaps you should think of it as acting (although I can't see them liking the analogy).
Blessings.
James
Simon,
ReplyDeleteThese are excellent points, all.
If reverence is the focus of the church’s worship, surely the first reverence is to actually turn up?
I laughed heartily at this. And yes.
I think at its best, this kind of theology and worship is seen as enacted, bodily reverence for the Lord, and to the Lord. Sadly, it seems that some of the six parishioners (!) don't quite get that.
Since your words offer a fair, reasoned, insightful point of view that is also completely contrary to the things I often write, I would love to quote it on my blog with a running commentary for discussion. Do you think that would be fun/edifying?
Kyle,
ReplyDeletePlease feel free to quote my blog.
At the end of my placement I will have to do a report on the things I have learned. I suspect that much of it, either in the body or in the appendices, will be extracts from your blog and from Elizaphanian http://elizaphanian.blogspot.com/. I hope neither of you mind.
I spend more time at my desk reading these blogs than I do the hydraulic engineering that I am supposed to be doing. It has strecthed me and moved my position on various things.
I am about to start reading your series on homsexuality.
i find it great to learn that God does not limit his love to my own brand of christian.
You have probably heard the joke, where St peter is showing a new arrival around heaven. THey pass a group of people sitting in a cirlce under a tree, singing and praying. St Pater turns to the new arrival and says 'shh - its the Brethren...they think they're the only ones here"