Jealousy

I'm the only Licensed Reader at my Church. But there is a new and popular preacher. He is easy to listen to, uses excellent visual aides, and rubs where the congregation itches. He's good looking, intelligent, wealthy (being a barrister and part time crown court judge). His initiative has launched the current theme, which will have a major impact on the church. The Vicar has recomended he should go through the Reader training course, but of course he does not have time for it. So he continues to preach, probably in breach of all sorts of rules about such things. And he's also found his way onto the PCC and the 'Vision team'.

Now I could invoke the rules, and grass him up to the Bishop. But would that do any good to anyone? No. The hard fact is: he is a better preacher than me. If he were to stop, the congregation would miss out, and this is bigger than my personal jealousy, my personal feeling of being pushed out, my personal feeling of being overlooked, my personal feeling of "I had to do years of training and he just walks in", etc. And the truth is: if I were asked to do what he does, I couldn't cope. Outclassed and outgunned. So I grit my teeth, smile, and thank God for blessing the church.

But I am surprised at how hurt I feel. I didn't think that jealouy was my thing.