We visited our [new?] parish church this Sunday.
It was their parade service, with Scouts, guides and a Rose Queen.
Q1 - what place does a Rose Queen have in Christian theology???
Apart from that: The good was that we were able to mingle without having to give too many explanations, the bad was that although it was a very child oriented service [good] it probably didn't give us a fair picture of the church. One of our friends who was already there said the service had been 'pretty radical'. So it may not be appropriate for us. Our two year-old toddler is unusually lively and will never sit still that long, and the small baby area at the back would be too small and too babyish for her. There is a creche - not operating this week - so she may be happy there but we don't like excluding children from the whole of the main service. There has to be some time when the whole body comes together if only for a short while. However, if my wife does get employed as their 'children and family worker' she would be well placed to influence these things.
Other points - we met a few of the people form our old church who have left in a huff and come here. They were friendly enough, but didn't leap at the idea of Mrs getting the job. They probably don't realise what she has been doing more recently. My 10 year-old son. who will come with us to whatever church we join, seemed happy, especially when he met a school friend there. The church is laid out in old uncomfortable pews. The vicar was very friendly and much more at ease with kids than our old vicar. We were welcomed well at the start, but nobody we didn't already know spoke to us afterwards. The coffee tasted good. Average age was high, and most of the younger people seemed to be parents of the scouts in the parade just visiting for the day. So if we were presumed to be parents of scouts, why did nobody make more effort to encourage us to visit again, or stay, etc? What a wasted opportunity! Which my wife would be able to influence. Oh yes, the speaker was a young woman. who was very good - competent both in style and substance. And if they already have such good people, why do they want to bring in someone else? And would my wife actually be good enough to meet their needs?
Next week we will case out the play area for our Play-church idea, though that seems less likely now.
Personally, I am feeling more guilty for the manner of my departure from the old church, and wondering if it has all been just a misunderstanding and whether I should just go back. I feel tainted and guilty. But I could not ask my wife to continue in that old church. I could not continue smiling and laughing with the people that were hurting her and continuing to hurt her even after we had explained the problem and they had made long faces and apologised. I have to put her needs and feelings above all else.
Yesterday evening was the first time I didn't turn up for a warden duty at my old church - I wonder how the Vicar coped with sorting it out without telling anyone I had left. But that's his problem, if he wants to manage it that way.
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