Tuesday's meeting

I took Monday off sick because I was so stressed. Had a wonderful time with my wife, driving to the top of the nearest hill to look at the tranquil panorama. Very therapeutic.

But we still hanging over us the 'big issue' that they had not told us. So I emailed them, asking for an email reply to clear this up so as to stop us thinking ill of innocent people.

On Tuesday morning I went to work much happier than for a long time, thinking that I could see God in all this. I would not normally leave my church, split my family and go to another church impractically in the next town, and so God had brought drastic measures in to make me make a drastic move that will ultimately pay dividends when it comes to ordination (i.e. a lot more experience in a more traditional Anglican church). But when I got to work I had my email reply - 'please come to a meeting'.

We went that afternoon. This time they seemed to have planned more carefully what to say, starting with trivial niceties and bits of flattery. I asked them to cut to the chase. It nearly tipped into a big row about my attitude. But they did as I asked.

The big issue: They claim that a majority of mothers in the creche have said that they can't work with my wife. "Her expectations are too high".

But even if this is true, it does not justify the way they have treated my wife. They have clearly had a lot of meetings with them; why have they not had any meetings with my wife, firstly the general type you would expect a a matter of course in managing the system and secondly specific meetings to hear the other side? If there was a problem in her approach, why was she not offered training?

Now casting back to about 2004, my wife had done the church Christmas play. Normally this is a pathetic affair where the children put on the previous year's costumes and come forward in groups to build up a nativity tableau. My wife has drama skills and did something much more complex, much more visual, with a more intricate plot, but still ending with the tableau [too keep them happy]. Towards the end of the last rehearsal, when she was highly stressed owing to key performers not turning up etc, the Vicar asked for the plot to be changed. Mrs told him about how impossible that would be at this late stage. Since then, we have always felt that he and the assistant minister had something against her. In fact, shortly before this meeting, the Holy Spirit had prompted her to remember this incident. So when we asked why all this had been done behind her back, as we half expected, they quoted the Christmas play in 2004 as a time when she had snapped at them and been hard to work with. So, because of the Holy Spirit's prompting, she was able to tell them again why it had been impossible to alter the plot, about the stress, etc. It was certainly not something that should still be held against her after 6 years of excellent involvement in childcare at the church. And even if what they say is true, the answer is counselling and training, not an intricate conspiracy to oust her.

They did accept that in some things she had not been treated well, and gave an almost sincere apology for those aspects. On that basis, we ended the meeting with a handshake.

But I still don't see that any return is possible. Originally we thought it was the new superintendent against her. Now we find out that it was an extensive conspiracy involving all levels in the church including those who were supposed to be her friends, planned over a period of months in a series of meetings to which she was not invited.

Would you go and sit amongst them? Even Christ only forgives those who repent. and I am a sucker for an apology - which I why I shook hands - but they have only apologised for bits, not for the overall thing.