Cat stories

1. I spread the marmalade on my toast. Saw a bit of orange jelly spilled on the worktop. What? Marmalade going to waste? Scooped it up and put it in my mouth. AAARRRGGGHHH! Jelly from the cat food!!!!!!! Spit, spit spit! Groan, spit spit spit!


2. Tried to shut the back door. Wouldn't go. Pushed harder. Felt like something soft blocking it, like a cushion. Looked down. Cat half in and half out, the harder I pushed the less it could get away. Woops. Well it could have miaowed or something! Its still not talking to me.