My wife is bringing back from her theology course a lot of convincing information suggesting that the Bible is not as [shall we say] 'simple' as my evangelical background would have me believe. She is convinced by arguments against the assumed authorship of various books, for example, and is now keen on the idea of John being developed through three editions, of which the last may not even have been by the apostle. In my view she then goes overboard in dismissing the later editions.
Because I'm not also on the course, I don't have the material with which to balance the case. So I have to go along with her.
This has several impacts;
- Feeling overtaken by my own wife, I no longer feel like a leader
- the scriptures that used to excite me now seem grey and lifeless, mere human inventions
- I have huge doubts about my own faith - how can I teach stuff I barely believe myself?
Although I am at the door of re-starting my own ordination process, it is no longer a joy to me.
Where I used to see it as a thing that woudl make me flourish, I now see it as a way to extend the period of the day during which my wife tells me what to do, what to think, and what to say.
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