Am I a disaster zone?

While talking to the agent about my phone interview, I had to confess that I was using my son's borrowed phone because mine was stolen, and becasue we had lost the receiver from our cordless landline.  I then said I was off work becasue my other son had been in hospital.  And hen had to talk about my mother's death.  At thsi point I started laughing, which must ahve sounded really inappropriate, but I had suddenly realised what a disaster zone my life must have appeared to be.

Exit strategy

Mrs remains dissatified and unfulfilled at our local church.

So she has me applying for freelance posts in another (more scenic) area of the country.

I don't share her vision, but I recognise my own lethargy and inertia and that frequently she has been right in the past.

So today, as a fleece, I have a telephone interview.

Pray that the Lord will guide through it.

She definitely needs to go somewhere where she gets the respect she deserves.  But the costs and practicalities of moving are terrifying!

Dislocation

My 21 year old son dislocated his shoulder during a 'friendly' pillowfight with church friends.  They took him to hospital, but nobody bothered to phone his family until 12:30am - when all my trousers were going round in the washing machine.  Found an old torn pair in a forgotten drawer.

I found himwaiting for his X ray, and in a lot of pain.  It would have been bearable were it not for the waiting.  Eventually they sedated him and put it back in place, and ten after a check x ray, they let him go. 

He has to wear a sling for 3 weeks!

Winter in April

Stopped in some high (by UK standards) mountains, where there were several frozen streams cascading down the mountainside as a series of ice falls. Stunningly spectacular, and not what you expect in mid-April.


Similarly, drove down some lanes in the areas more affected by recent snow. The remains of the drifts at the roadside were still probably about 10 feet or more in places and certainly well above the roof of the car. Again, this is just not supposed to happen in the UK, let alone in April. There seemed to be loads of lambs around, but it must be hard for those farmers who have lost many to see neighbours with whole flocks.

Empty house

Went to my late Mum’s house. Originally booked as a trip to care for her while my sister had a holiday. Ended up just using the time to clear out her old medicine cupboard and carry two large bags to the pharmacy for disposal. Couldn’t help thinking that if the medicines were in her body rather than the cupboard, she might have lived longer.

It was very poignant, seeing all her stuff but not her. Identified some items that I would like to inherit, but came away with only a toy dog that she promised to my youngest and with a dishwashing brush. Well, I needed one, she had three which is clearly more than a dead woman needs and I didn’t think it would cause a major dispute in settling the will if I took one without consulting my brother and sister first.

Wheel of death?

On bank holiday Monday took some of the family on the big wheel in the local city.  Wonderful views, but a stark reminder that I suffer vertigo.

Easter Sunday - A tale of two services

6:15 at the local beauty spot. 22 people and one dog – might have been more if the clocks hadn’t changed that morning and if it was a bit warmer. Service run by another local Vicar, i.e. a very Anglican read-the-sheet affair which makes it very difficult for the Holy Spirit to break in and inspire you with any genuine worship.  But to be fair, the temperature was -5 degrees Celsius which is clearly not enough. We were given the wrong time and had already been waiting for 20 frozen minutes before it even started.  Also, to be fair, there were some good points in the service, reflecting on the resurrection as a time when we can also come out of the dark periods of our lives and when dead dreams can live again.
11:00. Packed church – wardens bringing out extra chairs. Very warm and lively minimally-liturgical service including the baptism of a teenage lad and about 9 (I lost count) ‘reaffirmations of baptismal vows by total immersion’, age range 40-84. It was good see old people making that kind of decision. I was reminded of how ‘they walked away, starting with the eldest’. The old are the ones who have the maturity to appraise their lives with appropriate sobriety, and they can lead the way in this kind of thing.

Funeral date set

The current date for the funeral is 12 April – my daughter’s 18th birthday!

Grief misplaced

 

 

 

This weekend some low-life decided that they did not need to hand in my lost Samsung Galaxy SII at the reception desk of the swimming baths, preferring to keep it for his/her own benefit.

 

So I’ve contacted my network and had the phone locked.

 

Now I discover the benefit I would have had if I had said ‘yes’ to the insurance. I have been quoted £350 for a new one. The second hand shops in the town can only drop that to £250. These costs are untenable with my current finances.

 

My only hope is that I may be able to negotiate with my son to inherit his iphone.

 

I am lost without my phone. I used it for

• Alarm clock
• Phone
• Text
• Email
• Banking
• Maps
• SatNav
• Camera
• Alarms
• Calendar
• Bible
• Notebook
• Internet 
• News
• Weather

The thing that makes me guilty is that because I used my phone almost constantly whereas I only spoke to my Mum once a week when convenient, it has had a much more noticeable impact on my life and in one sense I grieve more for the phone than I do for her. Together with the fact that in practical terms my Mum is better off in heaven with her God and her husband than she was being bundled from Care to Hospital and back.

So while Mum is clearly the more important thing and I will feel that permanent loss over a long period of time, the phone is the more immediate thing but I only feel that loss until I get a replacement.

Good Friday

Joined the ‘walk of witness’ following a cross through the town centre.  Very good.