Back on track

After last week’s crisis, I can start to think about life again.

Why does God allow us to have these troubles? It is part of his training. Clearly, if you come to understand the consequences of your sins, it helps you to resist the temptation. Also, as Christians especially within Evangelical Protestantism, we get too casual about sin. “It doesn’t matter – just a quick prayer and God will forgive”. Would I sin so much if I had to tell my wife everything? Yet if I am afraid of her wrath, why do I think God is a soft option? If I am frightened of her knowing about my secret doings, why does it not worry me that God catches me red handed every time?

So it has been a lesson in holiness.

Regarding our baby plans – we are currently at a waiting stage. Will it fertilise? Will it implant? Have her hormones settled after the miscarriage? We shall see.

Regarding my work, I have been concerned about what will happen to me as a freelancer during the lulls in the workload, with the five year cycle of the water industry. But I have done my sums, and it does seem that overall I will be better off. My employer is aware of where I stand, and is disappointed but supportive while advising me (for my own good) against it. But they don’t know God’s provision, or the danger of not following his call. I have sent my CV off to an agent who cold-called me (he actually got me my present job). I have contacted other agents, but they can’t be bothered to respond. So was his cold-call God’s perfect timing, or a distraction? I would prefer to go without an agent and negotiate my own work if possible, and so avoid a massive agency fee, but I’m not sure I have the ability to do this. I would stick with my current secondment and work direct instead of via my current employer, but this is full of political pitfalls. I shall have to see how the Lord leads. I still have most of September to make up my mind, make plans, and make the jump.

Regarding training, I have this week to get my stuff in order for a year group meeting next weekend. Then I will meet with my Oxford Movement Church to find out what role I will play there. Pray that while I learn from them in humility [since I think I know best], God will use me to bring about his purpose for them. And then also pray for me to find my role once the training is finished. I entered it with a view to just being on the preacher’s rota, but it seems the Vicar doesn’t want this and would like me to run a church plant. I see myself as a preacher but not as a leader. They are very different skills.

Watch this space!