In trouble again

Some time ago, my daughter told me that her 12 year-old school and church friend had been invited to join the church band that leads the worship in the 11 o/clock service on Sunday mornings.

Her Dad is already a member of the group. Smelling nepotism, and having never really noticed any spark of faith in the girl, I grunted words to my daughter about how people in the band should be strong Christians (i.e. fit to lead worship).

Later I grumbled similarly to my wife. She, being wiser than me, reminded me that the girl in question had been baptised (believer’s immersion baptism) in the session after my own daughters. Realising that it was just a case of me being clueless and oblivious to the world around me, I spoke to my daughter, saying basically I was wrong; her friend would be fine in the band.

I thought that was the end of it. How wrong! Unfortunately, my daughter had already told the girl, who had told her family, who (being one of the more touchy families in the church at the best of times) all became very offended and upset. Well I would be if someone had said that about my kids.

The first I knew of this was when her Dad approached me on Sunday morning before Church. To give credit where it is due, he handled the situation very well and in full accordance with the scriptures for this kind of thing – a textbook case. He asked if he could have a word with me, and said that I had said his daughter couldn’t join the band because she wasn’t a Christian. [That’s not actually what I said]. I replied it had been a misunderstanding, and took him into a side room for a proper talk. I explained that I had blurted out of turn, and that I had already been told off by my wife, and had already spoken to my daughter to set the record straight. I apologised and grovelled as much as I could, and as far as I can tell, he accepted my explanation and apology, and we shook hands.

However, knowing the family, and knowing that being reconciled to the man of the household is very different to being reconciled to the girl and her mother, I felt something more would be needed. I went round to their house in the afternoon, with a box of chocolates and a card with a hand written apology. I was hoping they would be out…. but went in and apologised in person to both of them. They were both still clearly hurt by it all, and said so, repeatedly, but seemed to appreciate the fact that I had been round to apologise.

As David found after his fling with Bathsheba, we can be reconciled but we may still have to suffer the consequences of our actions. And though they may say we are reconciled, in truth, if I was in their position I would still be feeling miffed, and you can’t undo the fact that I did think and say those things.

We shall see what turns out.