Prodigal Auction

My daughter came to me on Saturday evening, and put a paper in my hand saying “#### asked me to give you this”.

It was a letter from my 14 year old son.

In it he confessed that he had mindlessly put a bid on a famous auction website for a car, and against his expectations, he had won, and was now liable for money well in excess of his funds. Plus, it would be very inconvenient to fetch the said car in another town. It was a very self-deprecating letter, full of genuine grief and remorse as well as panic for his situation. He did not expert forgiveness, but offered to pay what he could in pocket money and by handing over his computer.

I was reeling with the impact of the whole thing and taken aback by the fact that I was now going to have to stump up the cash. But mostly, I felt sad for him, hiding in his basement bedroom, worked up into such a state of self-loathing that he felt he had to send his sister with a letter, rather than face me himself. It hurt me that he called himself “a screw-up of a son”.

I consulted with my wife, and we agreed the problem had three aspects:

• Re-affirmation of our son
• Careful discipline of our son
• Resolving the problem of the car

The discipline was relatively easy – it didn’t need anything heavy handed. We have been telling him for months he is not allowed a computer in his bedroom – now we could enforce that rule.

Re the car, we felt there was a binding contract and we would have to buy it with borrowed money, but then sell it straightaway to recover as much as we could.

Time for re-affirmation. I couldn’t go down to him straightaway – other kids going to bed, incoming phone calls, etc - but at the first break I went down, and found him flushed in the face and full of tears. (This is the rough tough footballing son.) I explained I would take the burden of dealing with the car, and that we would move his computer out, but mostly that the self-deprecating aspect of his letter was out of place for a son of God, a valued one for whom Christ died, and a son that made me proud. I could not shout – I could only hug him. And he received the hug, which normally he would not.

Cutting a long story short, we contacted the vendor and explained the situation. He was very understanding, and agreed to ‘mutually withdraw’ – which I hadn’t realised you could do on the auction website. All we had to do was refund him his listing fee, a small amount which my son agreed to pay.

The phrase ‘cutting a long story short’ includes all the prayer! Prayer which was answered.

So there we have it – a living prodigal son, a living parable of the undeserving who is loved not because of what he does but because of who he is (the son of the father), and whose repentance opens the floodgates of forgiveness.

In trouble again

Some time ago, my daughter told me that her 12 year-old school and church friend had been invited to join the church band that leads the worship in the 11 o/clock service on Sunday mornings.

Her Dad is already a member of the group. Smelling nepotism, and having never really noticed any spark of faith in the girl, I grunted words to my daughter about how people in the band should be strong Christians (i.e. fit to lead worship).

Later I grumbled similarly to my wife. She, being wiser than me, reminded me that the girl in question had been baptised (believer’s immersion baptism) in the session after my own daughters. Realising that it was just a case of me being clueless and oblivious to the world around me, I spoke to my daughter, saying basically I was wrong; her friend would be fine in the band.

I thought that was the end of it. How wrong! Unfortunately, my daughter had already told the girl, who had told her family, who (being one of the more touchy families in the church at the best of times) all became very offended and upset. Well I would be if someone had said that about my kids.

The first I knew of this was when her Dad approached me on Sunday morning before Church. To give credit where it is due, he handled the situation very well and in full accordance with the scriptures for this kind of thing – a textbook case. He asked if he could have a word with me, and said that I had said his daughter couldn’t join the band because she wasn’t a Christian. [That’s not actually what I said]. I replied it had been a misunderstanding, and took him into a side room for a proper talk. I explained that I had blurted out of turn, and that I had already been told off by my wife, and had already spoken to my daughter to set the record straight. I apologised and grovelled as much as I could, and as far as I can tell, he accepted my explanation and apology, and we shook hands.

However, knowing the family, and knowing that being reconciled to the man of the household is very different to being reconciled to the girl and her mother, I felt something more would be needed. I went round to their house in the afternoon, with a box of chocolates and a card with a hand written apology. I was hoping they would be out…. but went in and apologised in person to both of them. They were both still clearly hurt by it all, and said so, repeatedly, but seemed to appreciate the fact that I had been round to apologise.

As David found after his fling with Bathsheba, we can be reconciled but we may still have to suffer the consequences of our actions. And though they may say we are reconciled, in truth, if I was in their position I would still be feeling miffed, and you can’t undo the fact that I did think and say those things.

We shall see what turns out.