Mrs Nadir

The DDO said no to her.

This wrong on many levels, but primarily because it depends heavily on a reference from the candidates vicar, and he doesn't like her.   We had hoped that he would rise above personal feelings and write a professionally impartial reference, but instead he has taken the opportunity to knock the final nail into the coffin of her life.

It is impossible to explain in a short post the extent to which he has totally destroyed her.  For ten years he has psychologically bullied her, even when we have taken steps to achieve forgiveness and reconciliation.  Sadly it has been a one way street.  He has abused his power to crush her and to turn others against her.

My beautiful wife is now an emotional wreck.  She has no reason to get out of bed each day.  There is no point in her going to our church.  There is no point in her going to any other church.  The family will again be divided as we go to different churches on sunday.

Like I say, this post can not explain the situation and readers may wonder why she cant just move on.  But I assure you, it is bad.  A genius injustice has been done.  If he had thumped her or raped her he would go to prison, but because the criminal deliberate bullying he has perpetrated over the years is hard to prove, he will go on to thrive while my wife dwindles into a broken shell of her former self.

Some of you will say "come on Saintsimon, only a few months ago you were on the brink of divorce - how come you have changed your tune?"  Well even at the darkest and most bitter hour of our marriage I would still have endorsed her call to ordination.  But our vicar, a supposed man of God, had not had the grace to write a fair reference.  

Sadly for him we must all give an account of our actions when we meet our creator.