So my faith has been down for a while as the train crash of theological doubt meets the cataclysm of our church troubles.
But I was beginning to improve. My daughters gave me 'Paradoxology' by Krish Kandiah (link below), and I had read the first few chapters and knew that it was good, scratching where I itched. But last night I went to bed early, struck down by a harsh man-flu. And I read the chapter on Habbakuk. It was as if Krish Kandiah had had a window into my life and used it as the source material for his text on how God is so unpredictable, ruining our favourite theologies and taking away from us the jobs he has so clearly given.
God Spoke.
I was getting through vast quantities of tissues with my running nose, but my face was wet with the tears of a man who has yearned for God's voice, and then hears it. The creator of the universe pauses a while from his task of spinning galaxies, and looks down at me, and says "It's OK - it's all part of the plan".
And then I remember how often in this blog I have had doubts and crises and then written "God sorts me out"........
I should be ashamed, really! Its time for me to learn the lesson.
https://www.hodder.co.uk/books/detail.page?isbn=9781444745351
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