Golden Wedding

My parents celebrated their golden wedding this weekend. Both are now in their 80s, with eyesight problems, angina, cancer, osteoporosis, and many other ailments I can’t give a name to. My Dad needs two sticks or a walker, and someone to hold his arm. But I am very proud of them because they only tell me about these things if I ask. Normally, they talk about day to day life – home improvements, friends, family, etc.

My parents are the most wonderful example I could ever have had, of how to live as a Christian and how to have a perfect marriage. I can only remember them having three arguments, and they were relatively trivial. My Mum has always submitted to her husband as to the Lord, my Dad has always given his life for his wife, as Christ does for the church.

So they are still madly in love. I think their bedroom activities are somewhat curtailed by the limitations of age and ill health, but I think they are still at it.

My parents were missionaries in South America and then Europe until they retired. In both places, they worked with indigenous churches. In Europe, they were invited by the local church. My Dad has always been a teacher rather than an evangelist. They have few converts, including me and my siblings. But they have a legacy of established believers, rooted in the Scriptures and living the Godly life.

For the celebration, they hired a hall in a Christian conference centre. This meant we had a three course meal and waiter service, nicely laid out tables with place names, music, etc etc. The guests were my parent’s children, their spouses, and all the grandchildren. Despite this, it was very quiet to start with, but the conversations soon got going, and we all had a great time. Some tears from my youngest boy, who trying to be on his best behaviour spilled his dinner down his front, and more tears from our baby who insisted it was "carry me" time. Happiness in the beginnings of a prodigal's return for one of my nephews. Avoided telling the aged missionaries that their grandchild is sharing a flat with a girlfriend. And a sister in law refrained from slapping and biting her husband. In fact they even looked in love.

I managed to get the dress code right in a suit, despite my wife telling me I would be overdressed. But I know my own parents! She also complained I spent far to much on their golden wedding gift. Is it possible to spend too much on a golden wedding gift?

The music was a CD of old hymns – exactly the right thing for my parents, whose day it was, but probably not what my sister-in-law would have enjoyed at all. She would also have found the grace, the closing prayer, and the speeches given by my brother and my Dad, all far to religious. But well done to her, she smiled through it all.

The key point for me though, was the final good bye hug to my Dad. I felt it might very well be just that – final. In a way I hope it was, because he is so weak he can’t have much quality of life now that he cannot fulfil his hobby of reading the scriptures. But mostly I felt really sad - a sense of loss even though he is still here. It would be convenient for himto go, and save me having to explain to him how far my theology has moved from what he taught me. But he taught me to love God above everything else, and that is the greatest gift, the greatest example that anyone could give. So I will be sad when he goes. Only now am I begining to realise how much I really do love him.

baby due soon

Waiting (im)patiently now for our baby to be born. (click the 'pregnancy' label/tag to get the full history behind our MIRACLE baby - and as a PS to reinforce that today's BBC website has an article about the reduced chances of MEN of my age being fertile)

It’s due at the end of the month, but the midwives say it is a big baby, and given other health history issues they don’t want to let it go past the due date. So Mrs is seeing the specialist on Wednesday. Hopefully they will decide to induce it early rather than let it grow bigger.

But… for my birthday celebration I have organised a paintballing expedition this weekend. I have said that ideally, the baby would come afterwards, since I have already paid for it and invited guests etc.

Mrs thinks this is very selfish. But I did deliberately arrange the trip two weeks before the due date – surely that is enough! But many of my guests have been unable to come, and the substitutes have also had other previous engagements, so I still have 25% vacancies. She thinks this is divine guidance that my paintballing ‘aint gonna happen, because the baby will come first.

We will see who is right!

IMPORTANT POST

This blog is titled 'Normal Life Adventure'. The idea is that as I write about my 'normal' life with God, I will reveal how life an apparently mundane is actually an adventure with God.

So, it's all supposed to be about guidance and miracles.

Lately there has been very little in my blog about this side of my life. I got tired of writing that it was all falling apart, that my faith was weak, that I was doubting my ability to read what God is telling me. And I have spent a long time getting embroiled in theological rows, which I enjoy and learn from, but which are in some ways very unproductive.

In this post I return to the blog's theme.

God tells me what to do. I do it. (well, that's the theory, at least)

In this post I talk about Pregnancy. The few brave souls that have followed my blog since it started will know that my wife and I have been trying for a baby, believing it to be God's plan for our life. It's long story - the latest post on it was this one. It has been long and hard, full of ups and downs, joys, depressions, two miscarriages etc.

Now after all of that, I am happy to announce that we are pregnant again. I have been wanting to say earlier, but waited until now becasue we are now past the stage where the previous miscarriages have occurred. And we have seen the scan - a living baby, wriggling, with its heart pounding away vigorously.

So now, I have a happy wife again. She has smiled properly for the first time in a year. She has started to emerge from deep depression, and started to get involved with things at church again. She is deliberately using her story as a witness, to tell of how God is working in her life. We have never felt the baby was just to give us pleasure, we have always seen it as also being a gateway to other areas of service in the church and the community. And now it is happening. And it's good news, and we are very pleased.

Hallelujah!

Vestments on trial

I returned briefly to my placement church last night for Sunday evensong.

Well, if I am more honest, I went to see if I could borrow a cassock and surplice for my licensing next week [since I will wear them too rarely to purchase].

Coming home, it dawned on me that none of my family had ever seen me in robes. I guessed that they might find it amusing and even have a bit of a laugh, and decided that I should get this over and done with by modelling them at home, rather than have them burst out laughing at their Dad as I process up the aisle on Saturday.

Well, it’s a good thing I did. Child 3 has only two modes: Adoration of what he sees as cool (eg shiny football boots), and extreme mockery of what he sees as rubbish (eg anything unrelated to football). So I had to endure shrieks of laughter and ridicule from him. Next was Child 4 – more laughter. Child 5 “Dad, you look like a girl. Shall I get a ribbon for your hair?” Child 6 – ditto. Child 2 – normally the most respectful – “Face up to it Dad, you look really stupid”. Child 1 was shut in his study revising for exams. I opened the door and he looked at me for a fraction of a second then let out a long high pitched scream.

I turned to my wife for comfort – mistake. She was very much on their side.

So, I was glad to have got it over and done with, but it was worse than I expected and quite disappointing as I expected at least my some of own family would be more supportive and encouraging.

Worse, earlier in the day I had dropped off tickets for the event at my brother’s house. We live in the same town but our paths rarely cross in the business of life and I haven’t actually seen him for two years. His first words “Good to see you”? No such luck … “My goodness, you’ve aged!”

Well so has he but I’m too polite to say.

So I moaned to my parents about this on the phone. And they agreed with him, saying I look older than he does (and he is 5 years my senior). They blamed my former vasectomy – though I actually started going grey when my daughter was in hospital and the doctor thought she was dieing.

So, shall I abandon my family and go and live in a monastery somewhere?