Regular readers will know that I feel the Lord has called me to some form of ministry with homosexual people, and that I want this work to bring together my conservative theology and my liberal heart.
Our Sunday evening service was lead by a team from another Anglican church, and ended in a time where people wanting prayer for one reason or another could go forwards. Now, normally, they ask you to go to the font. This time, since the team had spent the afternoon running a seminar on healing for our church, the team members paired up in the aisles, and we were supposed to go to them. And then, since the theme was ‘bringing people to Jesus’, they would bring the victim/candidate down to the front. This was also supposed to be less intimidating, but in fact it was worse.
Now as I have said, it was largely about bringing people to Jesus. During the week I had discussed with my wife my urge to work among Homosexuals, and had floated to her my idea of some kind of bridge-building event. She helped me to understand my naivety – that while there would be many gays willing to co-operate sensibly with a bridge-building barrier-breaking event, there could also be a small number with a much more militant, or even malicious agenda, and that I could get me, the church and the family into serious difficulty getting into this kind of thing with strangers.
So I was a bit lost. Nothing has come of my involvement with TFT –maybe I’m rushing? – and nothing was now likely to come of my new idea. I needed a fresh direction. So in church, surrounded by anonymous visitors from another church, quite late in the proceedings when one of them came free, I went forward and asked for prayer regarding my sense of calling in this field. That’s when I got stitched up, because it turned out he was just co-ordinating and he led me to one of the pairs and so I had to reveal my thoughts to a member of my church, whom I have known for a long time but not really someone to whom I would share this kind of thing. You can know people too well!
Anyway, the prayer was good – my church member prayed that any plans would be right for the whole family, and the visitor quoted the verse ‘he will direct your paths’.
Assured of confidentiality, I went back to my seat and opened the Bible. It was a psalm of empowering and commissioning – possibly relevant but not definitely so.
Afterwards, the co-ordinator guy, reputed to have a prophetic ministry and therefore under pressure to come up with clever words, came to me at the coffee area and said the Lord had given him the word ‘compassion’. Yeah well, maybe it was the Lord, but maybe it was also his own human wisdom, trying to stop me rushing in with dogmatic and judgmental biblical pronouncements. Or both. I explained to him about my ‘conservative theology/liberal heart’ dilemma. And I explained that I think this truly represents God, except He is able to square the circle where I cannot.
Then later still, I found myself standing next to the Vicar, who is very rarely free enough for a simple chat. And he was still and quiet for once. And so I took the plunge, given the thrust of the evening, and asked to have a session with him. No session was booked, but we did discuss my sense of calling, and this has developed into a plan to have an extra ‘teaching’ meeting for the church. Two views will be presented, a conservative view and a liberal view. The plan is that the conservative view will be presented by a member who happens to be a university professor, while the liberal view will be presented by me. Not to say that he is conservative and I am liberal, just that we will each present that case respectively.
I think his is really great. It’s right up my street, and gives me the chance to teach some very liberal stuff without being labelled as a liberal, and also to enable me to be conservative without people thinking I am heartless and dogmatic. So God is indeed good.
I hope that I will reap a harvest of righteousness, in the form of conservatives being less judgemental and liberals recognising the authority of scripture.
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