How to behave, when it makes you mad?!

This Sunday there was an infant baptism at our church. Our newly ordained assistant minister was visited by relatives from California, who wanted their children to be baptised, and preferably by her.

Our church steers people away from infant baptism towards a more biblical believer's baptism, but being an Anglican church, cannot refuse infant baptism if that is what people ask for.

I had heard that there was to be a baptism, and came along enthusiastically thinking our immersion baptistry would see action, and was trown into confusion when I found I had misunderstood - I normally stay away from infant baptisms. I decline to endorse them by my presence.

So I told my wife I would have to go to the foyer while the baptism took place. In fact, I couldn't wait that long. The music group started on a series of light hearted bouncy songs (it being a family service with many young ones) - and I really didn't feel I could participate with integrity in that style, rejoicing at the baptisms about to take place, when I did not rejoice in them at all. So I took myself to the foyer early. I have taken vows that I will "uphold the historic formularies of the church of England" - standing up in the middle of the baptism ceremony and loudly denouncing it as unscriptural and harmful to the child would not fulfil that vow, and so for the sake of dignity and integrity, I removed myself from the room.

The PA feeds the service to the foyer, so I could still hear. The Vicar made the best of a bad job, trying to balance his own views with the requirements placed on him by the church. Afterwards most of the evangelicals were praising his introduction as an excellent balance, distinguishing baptism from salvation and emphasising the need for an expression of faith by the candidate later. But it still wound me up strongly, because ultimately he was endorsing something unscriptural and having to distort all sorts of things to make it fit. The whole system is wrong, and so the contortions he (and the CofE) go through to accomodate it just introduce more wrongs.

[The assistant minister took the main sermon, and I didn't catch all of it but the bits that I did get seemed (and I may be wrong about this, i only caught snippets) semed to imply an element of washing in baptism - yes the Bible does speak of washing in baptism but I felt she went too far - but I am probably worng on this point.]

I was able to express my frustrations to the warden and to another Reader, but have to be careful not to talk to persons not in authority over me about this becasue that would break my vows. In fact I was talking too loudly in the foyer, which I regret.

My wife had a go at me at home afterwards, saying that I was just being proud and setting myself up as 'wiser' than the rest of the leaders. But the truth is, last time I spoke about this to our Vicar he was not even aware that some churches do not accept infant baptism at all, so I think I can say without pride that I have seen several perspectives on this and proably do know more [on this topic] than him. He has always been Anglican, and never had the opportunity to see it from outside. So I don't claim superiority, just experience. Plus I studied various views on it when I was doing the Anabaptists project in my training. So Mrs and I had a big row which ended with me stomping out of the room saying something like 'I am a teacher, I have to care about doctrine'.

Now I am not asking you to bombard me with 1000 coments about the pro's and cons of infant v believers baptism. In fact please don't. What i am hoping to gain from this post is other people's experience on how one should behave when the church to which God has called you does things in good faith which you strongly disagree with and consider to be actively harmful. Shold I take on the OT prohpet role, and go and stand on the pulpit prophesying repentance or doom? Should I ignore it and hope it goes away? Should I write to the Vicar? Shold I take him aside and chat? Should I write saying 'I know you HAVE to do this, and I HAVE to register my dissent'? Or what?