Suspected misscarriage - will faith prevail?

This weekend has been a complete roller coaster of highs and lows.

I was supposed to attend a college friend’s wedding on Saturday, but cancelled because of my wife’s bleeding. She would not have been at all happy about me disappearing to the other side of the country for a day or two when the pregnancy was threatening to miscarry.

She had bleeding on and off all day Saturday. But she still looked very rosy and pregnant, and I wasn’t too worried, still in faith that this was just a hiccup. But towards evening the bleeding became heavier and thicker, and we became convinced that it had indeed miscarried.

Gloom all round. Yet I still couldn’t really attach myself to the idea that it had miscarried, perhaps a sort of denial or delusion. Or perhaps faith. Anyway, Mrs (I will call her Mrs rather than “my wife” from now on) keeps on reading her books.

She stayed at home on Sunday while I took the kids to church. We made a quick getaway afterwards, not wanting to have to fend off questions about where and how she was and how our fostering is going.

I couldn’t ask my wife to cook, and I can’t, so we had lunch at Pizza Hut.

We did the jobs we had missed on Saturday during the afternoon, and she went back to her books. I was on warden duty at church in the evening. A fantastic service: a workshop on the gift of prophecy. Not very Anglican, but extremely good (despite some minor theological errors and other incidents separating zealous but immature Anna and zealous but longwinded Dora from the microphone).

Came home full of the Holy Spirit. Found Mrs still on the couch, but in a much better frame of mind after reading more books. Some hope – or clutching at straws – that it may not have been a miscarriage after all.

Monday’s appointment has been postponed till Wednesday, and so until then we won’t really know what has been happening.

Meanwhile, my two oldest boys came back from Soul Survivor. Buzzing! They are making the transition from inherited faith to a faith of their own. Fantastic! We just hope and pray that our faith about the pregnancy is vindicated, so that we feel we are leading them into something that is actually right!

I still need guidance regarding contract working. I discussed it with my bosses on Friday, and while they are willing to accept me on a contract basis, they strongly advised me against it. Colleagues who work on contract have skills that apply to various industries so when one is quiet they go to another. But I am more specialist, so come the quiet periods I would be first to be out the door and with nowhere to go. That is human wisdom, but if god has told me to do it then it would be folly not to. So I need clarity regarding God’s will in this.

I have now filled up your entire prayer time!