SShhhhh!.... Don't tell anyone our secret!

So I’ve got it made.

Fantastic wife.

Four fantastic sons.

Two Fantastic daughters

Big House

A car and a minibus

Excellent church

Good job – secure, reasonable money, enjoyable.

It’s great!! ……… for me.

My wife languishes a bit. While I have been doing well, she has felt rejected by employers, didn’t hit it off with the church’s children’s work, and failed at fostering.

The return of the mid-life crisis.

But on her birthday – just as we were recovering from our (hopefully last) post-fostering row – she seemed strangely content. Her face was glowing - her smile more deep and genuine than I had seen for years.

She was feeling strange things in her belly, and sick in the mornings.

She felt pregnant!

She felt like this for a while, not telling me till she was ready. Then she took a test – negative. Big downer.

She took me out for a walk and poured out her heart to me as we walked. And I – even thick old me - understood at last.

But she still felt pregnant, even though all other signs were negative. We decided that the tests must have been wrong. We took another test – negative, and this time the feelings started to pass. She must have just had a prolonged tummy bug.

Yet the seed had been sown in her mind. Another baby!

I should point out at this stage that I had had a vasectomy after our 6th child when she was up to her eyeballs in rheumatoid arthritis and its medicines. Now, through the grace of God she was off medication and living a relatively normal life. But I was still officially infertile. We had decided on the vasectomy because we knew that it could fail and that if God so wished he could give us another child – hence our belief when she seemed pregnant.

But now we prayed earnestly – was it God giving us the idea of a pregnancy, and telling me to get the vasectomy reversed? If it went through smoothly we would see God in it, but if we had to push for it, we were probably pushing against God. I went to the doctor. When he had finished laughing loudly, he told me all of the risks and ethical issues involved in vasectomy reversal and pregnancy in ‘older’ women. But he still referred me to the consultant. This was to be done privately – the National Health Service would not cover it. The consultant was much more optimistic [optimism is great when you are being paid for it] and booked me in in a fortnight. I had a little trouble getting the time off work, but it was OK.

I went into hospital, and came out a new man (having had my bits handled by more people than I care to mention). Managed to stop the kids from jumping on my delicate bits. It was all rather gory. The stitches felt like I had a giant bull-clip attached to my bits for a month. It still feels tight!

Had to wait an agonising month before we could test the new toy.

And here we are, four months later – and I hope that when I go home tonight she will tell me she has had blood spots (sign of implantation).

It is hard each month when it comes out negative. The Lord is using these months to give us a hint of how people must feel when they are unable to have kids at all, and it makes us grateful for the six we already have. We are also sharing experiences with a friend of similar age who is trying for a baby after her previous 5 year old child died from a harrowing congenital illness.

This is a story that God has not finished. Watch this blog to see what comes of it! Our friend deserves to get pregnant first. Pray for us all!

(PS to avoid any ambiguity – our friend has a husband of her own – she is not relying in any way on MY vasectomy reversal!!)