Photo credits

The Embalse de Riano in northern Spain. The picture was taken by .... me!

Monday, June 6

Gloom II

I wrote some words in that card. Messed up - too many ambiguities - but I only had one card and it was too late. Gave it to her anyway, left on her pillow while she was in the shower. Came up to bed later (I sleep in a seperate room anyway - a nomad in my own house - because my snoring disturbs her) - she had switched the light off and shut the door, so no welcome there.

But Sunday seemed to go better. Apart from a row at lunch becasue I told the baby off for screaming at me and she took the baby's side. It was genuinely a better day: good church services am and pm and a good time at the 'newcomers' tea' at the vicarage. God was clearly speaking to me about my role in the new church.

Until evening, when she said 'About your card....'

She wants us to re-learn friendship. Sound good, but it basically means she doesn't consider us friends at the moment, let alone married, and any intimacy (even formal kissing) is off for the forseeable future. She wants to limit talk about issues to once a week, on Sunday evenings, becasue she can't cope with more than that. Well neither can I. I suppose its moving in the right direction, but its not right. I think I am more positive towards her than she is to me, even though I genuinely feel that I am the aggrieved party this time. But I'm not allowed to think that!

Only slept 10 minutes last night.

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