If you've been following my blog you will know that mrs applied for ordination. She didn't get past the DDO, who admitted she had a bad reference from her incumbent.
Meanwhile, a friend asked her for a reference. In filing this in, she found that she could ask to see her own reference from the Vicar.
It arrived last night.
It says that she is:
Dominant
Stubborn
Uncollaborative
Struggles with authority structures
....etc..... Not recommended for ordination.
Now speaking as her husband of 24 years, I feel that I am in a position to say that all of those accusations speak more of his prejudice than they do of her. This is not to say that she has never stood her ground or expressed herself strongly, but that has usually been against a background of his oppression and suppression of her. She is only a feminist because of her experience of him. She is what he made her. And even if those allegations were a fair description, it was his job that he is paid for, to provide appropriate training to help her with those issues. Instead he has marginalised and ostracised her, and then said she has no experience of leading worship when he is the one who has removed her from those opportunities.
So, my question is:
Would you remain in a church where the Vicar hates your wife so much that he has to write such a slanderous reference for her? He had totally destroyed every aspect of her life. How can I respect him? How can I work alongside him, when he is abusing my wife?
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