Need a new client XV

Still no sign of work. The things I hoped for last week did not work out. Something else I applied for at the weekend, convinced it must be the right one, failed at the first hurdle.

Back to depression again, back to the sense of faith being challenged. Back to the sense of being unwanted. (Or at least unaffordable!)

Having discussed with Mrs - decided to apply for local 'permanent' jobs, on the basis that if it's not right the Lord can close the door. And so I have spoken to a local agency, who will explore the prospects with a few local branches of the main consultancies. Now, whist I am doing this 'in faith' that God can shut the door, I still feel a bit like Abraham taking on Hagar, lacking patience and trying to hurry along God's plan by human intervention.

Although I am outwardly full of faith, under this there is the layer of depression and despondency. But below this is the core faith, that God has never let me down before, and won't do so now.

So although out of a sense of responsibility I feel I have to go through the motions of job hunting, I still feel that the right job has yet to come. the real question is about how much digging I need to do for it to come. It seems unchristian to do nothing, yet it seems faithless to strain and struggle trawling the Internet and applying for every unsuitable job I see.

Guidance, please!

Jehovah Jireh

So - "next week the Titanic sinks"...?

But of course, the Lord doesn't do things that way.

My Blog is about normal life with God being an adventure.

So, because my parent's money was due to run out this week, he arranged for the tax man to give me back a significant amount of money - enough for TWO WEEKS! This results from erros in info I gave in to the tax office last summer - but God was in control arranging a saving package to get me through the next few weeks.

This means that we now believe He does not want us to go down the IVA route, but instead to trust him.

Oh, also, I have just applied for work in the town where my parents live, so if succesful I will be able to assist my sister in caring for them in their old age.

feels like God is at work!

Encouragement

While having my cup of coffee, I mused.

There are three ways my employments situation could go in the short term:

1. Nothing. Zilch. Negatori. Nowt. Rien. Nada.
2. A permanent job as a staff employee of some company
3. A contract job - carry on as I was before I ran out of work.

In prayer I put these paths to the Lord, and asked him which one it would be, and what should I do, now, to bring it about.

I then played 'Holy Horoscopes' with my Bible, opening it at random. (That's always a dangerous game which I don't recommend - you might just as well do the I-Ching. e.g. "Judas went and hanged himself" - "Go and do thou likewise"). However, I picked up Isaiah 54 and 55, reading in 'The Message". These two chapters are full of how God is about to abundantly bless his people after a time of trouble, and that this is 'just around the corner'.

So that was answer number 1 - I believe that this means I will very soon get some contract work.

So what should I do to bring it about? The passage speaks only of what God is going to do, in his time, for his purposes, in his way. So it seems that I don't have to DO anything except wait patiently - answer number 2.

Now of course, I could be wrong. 'Holy horoscopes' is a dangerous game. So don't lose faith if next week I am still posting about unemployment. I still have to go through the motions of job-hunting.

But overall, I am enouraged to believe that in His typical style God will rescue me at the last minute. Or shortly after.

Need a new client XIV

None of the jobs I have been hoping for - not even the ones that semed so good that they must be 'The Lord's Will' - have been offered to me.

I am therefore feeling much lower than a few days ago when the future was much brighter. It's now less than a week before I visit the CAB and and have my IVA started. I really need something to come up in time for that.

Mrs is full of faith that it will be OK, and points to the kindnesses of the people in the church as evidence that God will provide [a job]. I also believe God will provide, but also see that sometimes he brings/allows hard trials, and I may have to go through with it. I hope Mrs is right!

Meanwhile I have downloaded and started training myself in the free version of the river modelling software, to help break into the river modelling world which seems to be my only hope at present (my specialism is wastewater modelling - you would think that water does the same whether it is in a sewer or a river and that's true, but the flow volumes are different, the physical structures are very different and the questions being asked about them are different, hence the techniques are different).

Dumped into it again III

My talk on Sunday night seems to have gone down well, despite my worries. There were a few things that I forgot to say, but the general feedback seems to be good. I do believe that the Holy Spirit was at work, and therefore have to believe that the things I left out were not important to His purposes.

Encouraged by my son

My son is generally rolling in dosh - spare cash from his paper round. This year, having been touched by God at Soul survivor last year, he is planning to pay for several of his friends to go.

But he feels guilty paying for his friends' holiday when people from the church are giving us groceries!

We have thanked him for his concern, but told him to carry on with his first plan. If the Lord has laid on his heart to take friends to Soul Survivor, then He doesn't need that money for us. ie, we will probably get work very soon, and our faith is built up.

Need a new client XIII

Tomorrow (Wednesday) is the day I hope to hear about last week's job applications. These are basically my last chance before having to go down the route of an IVA.

My verse for the day in the sidebar is "“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)"

Who your friends are

We have been greatly encouraged by the kindness of friends at this time when I have had no work for over a month. Someone from the church dropped off a box of groceries today, including quite a few tins, bread, and toiletries. The fact that we are not yet desperate enough to need them is beside the point - the fact is, people care. The box came with an envelope from someone else containing £100. Like I say, we don't need it - (YET!) - but it is fantastic to know people are thinking of us with love.

And the reason we don't need it yet is because we still have my parent's money. (Which will last us until 11th May, and then 'the Titanic sinks')

There are others - who one would expect to be at the forefront of such generosities - who are conspicuous by their absence. Times of trouble reveal who your friends are!

New teeth

Our baby has finally sprouted two new front teeth at the top.

Dumped into it again II

My sermon has not been coming together. You can't easily summarise a book as dense as Tom Wright's "Justification" in a way that does justice to the theology and yet is simple enough for a congregation that is 30% "people with learning difficulties". Yesterday I was getting completely bogged down.

So I set my alarm for 5:30 and went for a quiet walk through the town and into the local countryside. (Except it wasn't so quiet in town, with people still coming out of the clubs at that time!)

I tried speaking out what I would say as I walked - which I found to be agood technique - but I kept getting bogged down.

The spirit directed me to turn aside among the long grass and lie down. Looking up I could only see blurred grass and blue sky, and feel adn hear the wind and watch the grass sway in its influence. "Go in among them," He said, "let me do the talking".

So does he want me to have a quiet time of contemplation and no sermon at all? May be. But I didn't feel comfortable with that proposition. But when I got up and continued my walk, and had another go at the sermon, I found the words flowed more easily, and the content of the talk was much more simple and therefore less inclined to get bogged down. (Ironically I was walking through a muddy patch as I thought this! - but just stay out of the muddy bits and you're fine.)

And for the first time I got to the end of the talk.

Time to go home - where am I? --ONLY 3 MILES FROM HOME!