I find that now that I am older, [talking around it using slightly euphemistic language] the intensity and duration of the physical sensations that arise during those ‘special cuddles’ with one’s spouse are much greater than they were when I was young. Long after she has finished, I am still caught in a sort of natural drunkenness, where I have little control. Breathing still rises to peaks. Muscles still spasm. Legs shake violently. I grit my teeth to come back to earth, but can’t. It is actually really really good, but rather embarrassing and I think Mrs thinks I am putting it on, but I’m not. And so, still shaking, I slide off the sofa and land naked on the cold laminate floor – that wakes me up a little but I still lie there for several minutes writhing and groaning, trying unsuccesfully to get back to normal. Then just one look at her sets me off again. Part of me thinks that this is not normal for a male and that I should go and see a doctor. But why spoil a good thing?
Now I’m not telling you all this personal stuff just to be boastful or vulgar. It’s that I had a similar experience in a very different context.
I was asked to help out with communion, holding the bowl into which people put the used plastic cups from the non-alcoholic wine distributed at the back of the church. This meant that I hen also had to take it up to the table at the front. And then turn round and walk back down the aisle through the congregation. I was filled with a sense of privilege to be doing all this as an act of worship. By the time I was back at my chair I was unable to join the next song. I was speaking in tongues, I was dizzy, and my leg was shaking uncontrollably. I’m not particularly given to manifestations of the Spirit, but I suppose this was one. Somewhere on my trip to the altar and back he jumped on me.
Tuesday, January 22
Meningitis responds to prayer
Fri 17:15
Urgent message: Jenny (Not her real name – 2 year old daughter of friends) had spots on her legs. Taken to hospital. Didn’t think too much of it – our daughter had such spots once and it was nothing.
Sat 01:30
(Don’t ask why I was not in bed) Found message from earlier – its meningitis – not responding to treatment. Prayed with my wife.
Sat 09:30
No news. The Mum has closed down her Facebook account. Assume the worst – that the child has passed away and the distraught Mum not able to face the world. But since Facebook was the way we communicated with her, couldn’t help or find out what the situation was.
Sat 11:30
enquired at the hospital, but they wouldn’t tell us anything.
Sat 13:30
dropped a card off at the hospital, with a ‘God is with you’ leaflet. Rounding up as much prayer support as possible via Facebook.
Sat (evening) – still no news. Continuing to pray and try to make contact.
Sun 11:30 during church service. Mum’s Facebook account goes live again. Jenny is alive and fighting it. My wife in tears of relief. Communicated the situation to the Vicar. At the end of the service, he called all the toddler group to the stage and prayed for Jenny.
Sun 14:30 Facebook photo of Jenny sitting up.
Current: (<--- monday="" written="">
Jenny is still in Hospital, but the situation now seems much more stable and her Mum was last reported to be ‘Happy’.
The thing with prayer is that if nothing happens, we say “what’s the point of prayer?” but if something does happen we assume it would have happened anyway. So God can’t win! In this case I think the prayer did make a difference. But even if it was going to happen anyway, now we have become partners in it happening.
And of course there is no formula; just because it seemed to work this time doesn't mean it will next time.
Urgent message: Jenny (Not her real name – 2 year old daughter of friends) had spots on her legs. Taken to hospital. Didn’t think too much of it – our daughter had such spots once and it was nothing.
Sat 01:30
(Don’t ask why I was not in bed) Found message from earlier – its meningitis – not responding to treatment. Prayed with my wife.
Sat 09:30
No news. The Mum has closed down her Facebook account. Assume the worst – that the child has passed away and the distraught Mum not able to face the world. But since Facebook was the way we communicated with her, couldn’t help or find out what the situation was.
Sat 11:30
enquired at the hospital, but they wouldn’t tell us anything.
Sat 13:30
dropped a card off at the hospital, with a ‘God is with you’ leaflet. Rounding up as much prayer support as possible via Facebook.
Sat (evening) – still no news. Continuing to pray and try to make contact.
Sun 11:30 during church service. Mum’s Facebook account goes live again. Jenny is alive and fighting it. My wife in tears of relief. Communicated the situation to the Vicar. At the end of the service, he called all the toddler group to the stage and prayed for Jenny.
Sun 14:30 Facebook photo of Jenny sitting up.
Current: (<--- monday="" written="">
Jenny is still in Hospital, but the situation now seems much more stable and her Mum was last reported to be ‘Happy’.
The thing with prayer is that if nothing happens, we say “what’s the point of prayer?” but if something does happen we assume it would have happened anyway. So God can’t win! In this case I think the prayer did make a difference. But even if it was going to happen anyway, now we have become partners in it happening.
And of course there is no formula; just because it seemed to work this time doesn't mean it will next time.
Wednesday, January 16
Bad day at the office
My colleague kept asking questions (technical ones about the job), but would interrrupt my answers repeating the question, rejecting each of my attempts to speak, but then insisting that I answer. Tensions rose. Eventually I lost it. Threw the papers in the air and stormed off.
Only 30 or more other poeple saw this.
Not exactly a good Christian example. But at least I didn't thump him.
I was going to go home "Sick with stress", but left keys and coat at my desk. Had to phone somene to bring them down, which of course meant the boss brought thm down, which of course meant a one-to-one which I really wasn't in the mood for.
But, credit to him, he calmed me down enough to go back to work, thereby saving me half a day's lost pay.
The other guy came and shook my hand, but didn't axactly apologise. Neither did I. No incident stands in isolation, and this guy has been winding me up for a long time. He means well, and wears his heart on his sleeve, and is actually a very good engineer, but his mediterranean temperament gets in the way and I know a lot of other people find him hard to work with.
Only 30 or more other poeple saw this.
Not exactly a good Christian example. But at least I didn't thump him.
I was going to go home "Sick with stress", but left keys and coat at my desk. Had to phone somene to bring them down, which of course meant the boss brought thm down, which of course meant a one-to-one which I really wasn't in the mood for.
But, credit to him, he calmed me down enough to go back to work, thereby saving me half a day's lost pay.
The other guy came and shook my hand, but didn't axactly apologise. Neither did I. No incident stands in isolation, and this guy has been winding me up for a long time. He means well, and wears his heart on his sleeve, and is actually a very good engineer, but his mediterranean temperament gets in the way and I know a lot of other people find him hard to work with.
Monday, January 14
Censored!
The Vicar censored my sermon!
I have to do the same sermon twice on a Sunday morning – one in each of our two services. After the first one, the he asked me to consider leaving out a certain section of the sermon. ‘I’ll leave it with you to decide’ he says, which of course is no real choice at all.
Surprisingly, I don’t mind a bit. I was saying things that really need to be understood in context, and using words to mean the same thing, or else they become probably blasphemous.
In the context of a sermon on ‘Worship’, and emphasising the aspect of ‘Worship’ that is an expression of love: in fact defining ‘Worship’ as the expression of love, I noted that in the Book of Common Prayer marriage service, the man says to the woman “I worship you with my body”. In Christian marriage the man represents Christ while the woman represents his bride, the Church. Thus the man, speaking as a symbol of Christ, says to the woman as symbol of the Church “I worship you”. One would expect the church to worship Jesus, but Jesus worships the church.
So having explained all this in detail, I said to the congregation (slowly for emphasis) “Jesus – worships – you”
This crossed a line for some, and I’d already had a member of the congregation challenge me on it even before the Vicar came to me.
No fair enough, if in your definition ‘Worship’ divinity is attributed to the thing worshipped by the fact of being worshipped, i.e. either it is the one true God or an idolatrous imposter, then it is blasphemous. I knew it may be controversial, and I genuinely don’t mind being asked to take it out.
But I had already defined ‘Worship’ in terms of the expression of ultimate love. And I think it is perfectly reasonable to say that Jesus expresses ultimate love for us.
But … With my thinking cap working overtime ….2 Peter 1v4 says “you will participate in the divine nature”. I think we underestimate our future status. So, is my suggestion that wrong even by my opponents’ definition?
Discuss, but don’t burn me at the stake.
I have to do the same sermon twice on a Sunday morning – one in each of our two services. After the first one, the he asked me to consider leaving out a certain section of the sermon. ‘I’ll leave it with you to decide’ he says, which of course is no real choice at all.
Surprisingly, I don’t mind a bit. I was saying things that really need to be understood in context, and using words to mean the same thing, or else they become probably blasphemous.
In the context of a sermon on ‘Worship’, and emphasising the aspect of ‘Worship’ that is an expression of love: in fact defining ‘Worship’ as the expression of love, I noted that in the Book of Common Prayer marriage service, the man says to the woman “I worship you with my body”. In Christian marriage the man represents Christ while the woman represents his bride, the Church. Thus the man, speaking as a symbol of Christ, says to the woman as symbol of the Church “I worship you”. One would expect the church to worship Jesus, but Jesus worships the church.
So having explained all this in detail, I said to the congregation (slowly for emphasis) “Jesus – worships – you”
This crossed a line for some, and I’d already had a member of the congregation challenge me on it even before the Vicar came to me.
No fair enough, if in your definition ‘Worship’ divinity is attributed to the thing worshipped by the fact of being worshipped, i.e. either it is the one true God or an idolatrous imposter, then it is blasphemous. I knew it may be controversial, and I genuinely don’t mind being asked to take it out.
But I had already defined ‘Worship’ in terms of the expression of ultimate love. And I think it is perfectly reasonable to say that Jesus expresses ultimate love for us.
But … With my thinking cap working overtime ….2 Peter 1v4 says “you will participate in the divine nature”. I think we underestimate our future status. So, is my suggestion that wrong even by my opponents’ definition?
Discuss, but don’t burn me at the stake.
I’ve met ‘Jesus’!
….my son’s Spanish friend at University.
In Spain it is quite common for people to be called ‘Jesus’ and to hear Spanish mothers telling their son Jesus to stop misbehaving. Perfectly normal to them – really weird for me.
In Spain it is quite common for people to be called ‘Jesus’ and to hear Spanish mothers telling their son Jesus to stop misbehaving. Perfectly normal to them – really weird for me.
Tuesday, January 8
Game of Thrones
A sudden 'Nr 2' urge takes hold of me and I quick-step to the gents.
Both cubicles occupied!
Move quickly to the adjacent disabled loo. Occupied!
Quick, downstairs to the toilets behind Reception. Full!
The disabled one looks as though it may be free, but I get a random irrational attack of shyness and don’t want to test the door while people are nearby.
Back upstairs, along to the far end of the building where there are three cubicles in the other gents. Full again!
The disabled one there is also busy.
Beginning to panic. Getting seriously uncomfortable.
Down two floors to the basement canteen where the gents has 8 cubicles.... closed for maintenance! (Must be the source of the trouble?)
Back upstairs, resigned to queuing like a girl. Fortunately there is now a free one. Relief!!!
(That’s a total of 18 cubicles that weren’t there for me in my hour of need!!!)
Both cubicles occupied!
Move quickly to the adjacent disabled loo. Occupied!
Quick, downstairs to the toilets behind Reception. Full!
The disabled one looks as though it may be free, but I get a random irrational attack of shyness and don’t want to test the door while people are nearby.
Back upstairs, along to the far end of the building where there are three cubicles in the other gents. Full again!
The disabled one there is also busy.
Beginning to panic. Getting seriously uncomfortable.
Down two floors to the basement canteen where the gents has 8 cubicles.... closed for maintenance! (Must be the source of the trouble?)
Back upstairs, resigned to queuing like a girl. Fortunately there is now a free one. Relief!!!
(That’s a total of 18 cubicles that weren’t there for me in my hour of need!!!)
Monday, January 7
Mrs MA
She has to hand in three 3000 word essays this week. Which of course means that she wants me to finish typing and formatting them. And of course she thinks this takes priority over the fact I have to prepare a sermon for this Sunday.
(Also this coming weekend – take two other sons to two other universities in different directions, and attend someone’s 40th party. In fancy dress as a 70s children’s cartoon character.)
Also, having settled into a routine of Monday and Thursday evening lectures, she now has a mixture of Mondays (afternoon or evening), Tuesdays (early evening), Wednesdays (Afternoon and early evening) and Thursdays. This messes up our childcare duty balance, and means I will have to take time off work and lose pay accordingly. GRRR!
(Also this coming weekend – take two other sons to two other universities in different directions, and attend someone’s 40th party. In fancy dress as a 70s children’s cartoon character.)
Also, having settled into a routine of Monday and Thursday evening lectures, she now has a mixture of Mondays (afternoon or evening), Tuesdays (early evening), Wednesdays (Afternoon and early evening) and Thursdays. This messes up our childcare duty balance, and means I will have to take time off work and lose pay accordingly. GRRR!
Memory loss
This time its not my Mum – its me! My USB memory stick fell apart sometime during the 560 mile round trip I did visiting my Mum and taking my son to University. I have the outer shell, but not the memory. It was all my company accounts, my timesheet system, and my private finances and letters. The last back up was in November, which is not too bad I suppose, but it will take me some time and a lot of effort to recover.
Mum - less nuts
Mum is now in a home, and seems to be much more settled. I was able to visit her this weekend, and found her looking and sounding much better, eating well, and almost happy.
She still has moments of serious confusion, probably resulting from dreams that she remembers as real.
One story is that one time she was sent to bed early in the home, because she had started telling other residents she was getting reduced fees because she was a retired missionary and it was a ‘Christian’ home. (She is paying full fees in a secular home.)
Another story is that while she was in hospital, some men came round attacking all the women but were stopped before they got to her. They did take her rings though. (My sister has the rings).
But in between these rants, I can have quite a long conversation with my real Mum. And that is good, because I thought I had lost the real her to senility.
She still has moments of serious confusion, probably resulting from dreams that she remembers as real.
One story is that one time she was sent to bed early in the home, because she had started telling other residents she was getting reduced fees because she was a retired missionary and it was a ‘Christian’ home. (She is paying full fees in a secular home.)
Another story is that while she was in hospital, some men came round attacking all the women but were stopped before they got to her. They did take her rings though. (My sister has the rings).
But in between these rants, I can have quite a long conversation with my real Mum. And that is good, because I thought I had lost the real her to senility.
Monday, December 24
I was moved by this
Love and loss
Wow! Maybe if your follow the link and read it, it won't strike you as anything particularly unusual - just some nicely expressed sentiment. But this kind of thing moves me deeply. It's a bit embarrassing when you are sitting at your desk - supposedly writing a report on the hydraulic design of a sewage works - with tears streaming down your face having read the post in the link.
There is something good, something that expresses the heart of God, something that is almost incarnationally divine, in the pain of love but not just the love but that love being love of something that is in istelf almost incarnationally divine and that love is accentuated by loss of that thing, and that makes each of those things I have already listed stronger, purer, more intense and even more holy and divine ... I can't really put what I am trying to say into words ..... Michelle wrote those words but it was God in her head and in her heart and in her hand that wrote them, just as surely as in he in her father when he would cradle her as a little child, or when he would stop his truck to pick up someone in need - God participating in his creation through both father and daughter. Yes!!
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